I've been meaning to write a journal like this for a long time, but just recently, finally, achieved a more solid idea for it and enough motivation to complete it.
I post things concerning the debate on same-sex marriage all the time, and I point out what I don't like about the same-sex marriage supporting radicals all the time.
But what about the -nice- same-sex marriage supporters? What about the nice homosexuals? What about the nice homosexual supporters who also do not support same-sex marriage? Where's the positive? If all we do is talk about the bad things, the negative things, the things we don't like, the nice, civil people who are homosexual and/or are a same-sex marriage supporter (this includes homosexuals who are against and who are for same-sex marriage, and all others who support same-sex marriage) will, of course, think that we refer to all/most of them when we say these things. Why? Because we NEVER address what we think or feel about "the nice ones." So, even if you're like me, we never generalize about the whole group, you just speak about the radical nutjobs, we're still not doing anything to support or encourage the ones who DON'T act that way. We just seem to ignore the fact that they even exist.
Well, I don't ignore the fact that they exist. For quite awhile, I never met a "nice one." I only met the radical nutjobs. Dozens upon dozens of them. I'm not going to go into all of that nonsense, because this isn't about the radical nutjobs of their side, this journal is about the nice ones.
I've met around 11 since I've started counting. Most of them were random people I came across on dA or Facebook. It's like this; when you're in a field of dead plants, darkness, and ugly crud, when you find a bright, shiny, clean, light-emitting diamond in the midst of it all, you're going to find that diamond extremely beautiful indeed. That's what I think and feel about those 11 "nice ones." Bright, shiny, clean, light-emitting diamonds that's beauty and character is so captivating, I start to not mind so much about being surrounded by such an ugly, depressing environment.
I decided I'd make mention of some of these people more specifically. Some I'll share the names of, others I won't. The dA members whom I specifically name I asked permission to give out their name and I asked them to review this for me and make changes where necessary.
One of the most recent individuals I've met is :icon pygmynoodles: . At first, things were rough in our conversation, but once he understood where I and this one other person were coming from, he apologized, I apologized, and things were really good afterward. I always admire the one who can apologize first, and this person is definitely one of them.
Another such individual is a man who I met on Facebook. I don't remember his name. We may not ever meet again. But he was one of the kindest, most intelligent people I've ever met. If I had to direct someone to a good, intellectual person who is on "the other side of the fence," he is the only one I'd send them too.
Yet another person worth mentioning is another dA member, . This person... my gosh. The comments I read from her in this one particular area of the internet made me nearly explode from the sweetness. She'd be one of those people who probably -could- quite literally kill someone with kindness. That's how utterly amazing she is. There was this person, who was making claims about another person's view point on same-sex marriage (the commenter was for, the one they were talking about was against), and they mentioned all of these bad things that the other person believed. And Sicsteen didn't join in in bashing, hating, or -anything- of that person, she just supported the idea of live and let live, leave people alone, etc.
Still another person I want to mention is one whom I really got into a bit of a scuffle with. I don't remember any details at all, as it was quite awhile ago, but I know it wasn't good. Still, I apologized to this person, and they accepted it. We're now considering each other friends.
I've also more recently talked to a couple of intelligent individuals on Facebook. Two of them did not attach their emotions to their arguments, as often happens in this political debate. We never were able to finish our conversations, due to my studying and school keeping my busy, but I valued our conversations nonetheless. There were these two other individuals, one who was a friend of mine, and then a friend of that friend. The friend is in support of same-sex marriage, and she willingly engaged in a conversation with me because she honestly couldn't understand how some people could be against same-sex marriage (like Martin Luther King Jr., his relatives, and others), and I tried to explain it to her. Then one of her friends and I got into a debate that got a little heated, though we still managed to remain civil. Turns out he was a homosexual conservative. I find that to be extremely awesome. Then he had the guts to basically say, "Hey, I'm done with this, we're not going to change our opinions, so I'm stopping here."
I never think that choosing to walk away from an argument/debate is a display of weakness. I think it's a display of courage, bravery, honesty, and character. It takes GUTS to walk away from something like that. Any fool can remain and continue to argue. It takes a really strong person to stop and say that they don't want to go any further. Extra kuddo points to them.
So, while I have now pointed out the nice ones, and what I like about them, I must admit that I'm not always one of the "nice ones" of the side that aims to keep marriage between one man and one woman. I freely and openly admit it. Sometimes my behavior stinks and is totally out of line. I can't say it's ever gotten bad to the point of me proclaiming homosexuals are demons or whatever, though. I've never tried to assert that homosexuals are somehow less than human due to their orientation. Never. Though sometimes in dealing with some people who are against keeping the definition of marriage as it is, my conduct can become improper. Now, granted, in most cases, it's because they were among the radical nutjobs, the definitely -not- nice ones. That still doesn't excuse the behavior.
So, I'll say it now; I'm sorry. You did not deserve to be mistreated. You didn't come here asking for me to blow up in your face. It doesn't matter if your choice of behavior wasn't proper or nice, you still did NOT deserve it. Period.
I cannot say I will never act that way again, because I'm sure I'll mess up. We all do. Our habits don't change over night, and trying to take on a better conduct even on our down days or when the other person is being particularly unpleasant, takes practice. For some, a ton of practice is required.
...and that's really all I have to say at this point. This may not be as fancy and well-thought out as it could've been but I decided that more raw and authentic was better than the fancy-schmancy, heavily edited, reviewed, and emotionally distant version it could've been. It was also supposed to be better, longer, but... it took me too long to think of how to continue this. I just really wanted to finish it and get it up.
So, in summary; try to be nice to others, despite opposing view points. They might choose to have a terrible behavior, but that doesn't make them a bad person. And those of "us" - people against same-sex marriage - need to understand that we're not exactly little perfect angels, either.
Hateful comments will not be allowed. Debates of any kind will also not be allowed. This is not meant to be a battle ground. So please, for the sake of peace, don't get into any sort of politics here. Even if the posts are well-intended, they will be hidden. The point of this journal and allowed comments is for discussion on how we can all learn to be nice and kind to one another regardless of the presence or absence of agreement on things.